💛 SELLevel 1Lesson 5
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How to Calm Down

Lesson preview: the Mini Lesson and Vocabulary are open to everyone. Guided practice, exercises, the parent checklist and the printable PDF worksheet come with full access (free 7-day trial or membership).

What you will learn

  • 1Recite the five calming steps in the correct order and demonstrate belly breathing
  • 2Explain why each step helps you feel calmer
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Mini Lesson

Everyone — children and adults — sometimes feels so angry, scared, or upset that it is hard to think clearly. That is completely normal! The good news is there is a simple five-step plan that helps your body and mind settle back down.

Why we need to calm down first

  • When we feel a big emotion, our body goes into "alarm mode" — heart beats fast, breathing speeds up, muscles tighten.
  • In alarm mode it is hard to make good decisions or solve problems.
  • Calming down first switches the alarm off so our thinking brain can work again.

The five calming steps

  • Step 1 — STOP. Freeze for a moment. Do not act yet.
  • Step 2 — BREATHE. Take three slow belly breaths. Breathe in for 4 counts, out for 4 counts. Feel your tummy rise and fall.
  • Step 3 — NAME IT. Say the feeling quietly: "I feel angry." Naming it helps shrink it.
  • Step 4 — THINK. Ask yourself: "What can I do right now that will help — not hurt?"
  • Step 5 — CHOOSE. Pick a helpful action and do it. Walk away, ask for help, draw, or talk to someone you trust.

Belly breathing — how to do it

  • Put one hand on your tummy.
  • Breathe in slowly through your nose — feel your tummy push your hand out.
  • Breathe out slowly through your mouth — feel your tummy go back in.
  • Repeat three times. You will feel calmer after the very first breath!

Words to know

Calm down

To make your body and feelings quieter

e.g. I calm down by taking deep breaths.

Belly breathing

Slow breaths that make your tummy go in and out

e.g. Belly breathing helps me feel still.

Stop

To pause and not act yet

e.g. I stop before I yell.

Breathe

To take air slowly into your body and out again

e.g. I breathe in for four counts.

Choose

To pick the action that helps and does not hurt

e.g. I choose to walk away when I feel angry.

Five calming steps shown as a staircase rising from left to rightFive stair steps, each a different color. Step 1 red at the bottom: Stop. Step 2 orange: Breathe. Step 3 yellow: Name it. Step 4 green: Think. Step 5 blue at the top: Choose. A smiley face sits at the top of the stairs.The 5 Calming Steps1 — STOP2 — BREATHE3 — NAME IT4 — THINK5 —CHOOSE
The five calming steps as a staircase — Stop, Breathe, Name it, Think, Choose — leading up to a calm, happy face.
Belly breathing guide: breathe in for 4 counts then breathe out for 4 counts, repeat three timesTwo large circles side by side. Left circle labeled Breathe In with arrows pointing inward and the text nose, 4 counts, tummy rises. Right circle labeled Breathe Out with arrows pointing outward and the text mouth, 4 counts, tummy falls. Below both circles the text Repeat 3 times.Belly BreathingBreatheINthrough yournose4 countstummy risesBreatheOUTthrough yourmouth4 countstummy fallsthenRepeat 3 times
Belly breathing — breathe in through your nose for 4 counts (tummy rises), breathe out through your mouth for 4 counts (tummy falls). Repeat three times.
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Ask yourself: "Which step is hardest for me — stopping, breathing, or choosing?" That is the one to practice most.

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